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January 10, 2019 3 min read

Whether or not you have known your partner for a lifetime or you just met last week, emotional intimacy is essential to a healthy and happy relationship.

Even if you feel incredibly close to your partner and there are little conflicts, life is unpredictable and challenges naturally arise.

There is nothing worse than trying to overcome an individual stressor while also feeling disconnected from your partner.

Having a strong foundation of emotional intimacy can only help you and your partner thrive.

Today, I created a list of ways that you and partner can build emotional intimacy so your relationship can weather the storms of life.   

5. List of Character Strengths


I’m sure you could go on and on about all your partner’s obnoxious traits, but try not to indulge in that temptation.

Everyone has individual strengths that give him or her that idiosyncratic charm. 

Perhaps your partner has a gift for serenading you, cooking meals that always hit the spot, has a knack for artistic pursuits, a relentless self-discipline or work ethic, etc.

Put all of that in writing.

You don’t necessarily have to hand it over to your partner, but engaging in writing this list has the power to shift your perspective to a more positive one.

If you feel distance in your relationship, go back and read this list as a way to feel more connected.

 4. Put Down the Phone!


Nothing can ruin the mood like the sound of an incoming text or phone call

Dividing your attention between your smartphone and your partner is exceedingly difficult; the conversation is bound to be compromised.

It can make your partner feel insignificant and less likely to be vulnerable in the future if you reach for your phone every time it goes off.

Have an agreed upon time and place when you check your phone.

One thing is for sure, unless you are communicating with your partner on it, your phone is certainly not helping boost intimacy, and it might even be fueling disconnection.

3. Communicate When You’re Hurt


This seems obvious, but many people withdraw or keep their emotions private as a coping skill, when they should be sharing what is on their mind.

It is difficult to be vulnerable and share that your feelings are hurt, but it is pivotal in keeping your relationship strong.

Don’t expect your partner to be able to read your mind.

Even if you fear your partner’s reaction, it is better to express yourself than let resentment build, which has the potential to destroy relationships.

Communicating when you’re hurt might be tough in the moment, but will improve your intimacy in the long run.

 2. Me Time


Carving out time for yourself can only serve you well.

Having a strong sense of your own person will leave you with more energy to be fully present and intimate with your partner.

Do things that you love without your partner. Invest in your friendships, family, hobbies, career, and personal goals.
If you spend all of your time with your partner, you might start to feel like you are not a distinct entity.

You might equate your partner’s identity with your personal identity, which is not true.

You are multifaceted and are comprised of so much more.


1. Mindfulness



Because practicing mindfulness changes the chemistry of the brain, mindfulness can lead to emotional regulation and higher levels of empathy.

Instead of jumping to a conclusion or reacting aggressively, you can react more thoughtfully and compassionately.

When you redirect our mind’s attention from negative thoughts and automatic behaviors, you are also helping your relationship.

Instead of being distant with your partner during a conflict, you might be able to see where he or she is coming from.

Your partner can get a better glimpse of your intimate side.


I hope your relationships continue to flourish.

It can be tough to tell your partner what is on your mind, or take time for yourself, or turning your phone off, but it will help you to get closer with your partner.

I hope you are able to utilize this list when it best serves your needs.

Have an excellent day,

Barrel & Co.

P.S. Another great way to build intimacy with your partner is exercising together. Our Evolve Reflex Punching Ball is excellent for exactly that!

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